Christmas List, 2019

Today I have to create a Christmas list so my children and husband can buy me things.
I’ve been thinking for days.
Here are things I want: Minimalism, in my own form of that. To paint more.
To have a bathroom in my Temple and all of the boxes of things that need sorting through to be gone.
I want land in the mountains and a good accountant and a camper and more time alone with my husband and less shit to deal with. 
I want to be physically healthy. Vibrantly so!
I want peace. And equality. And to really, deeply get all of the underlying shades of racism and white supremacy culture–so the world can be a better place, and inside myself, so that I can be a better human being.
I want men to see their privilege and to stop bullying, yelling, raping, talking over, killing…I want to feel peace in my heart.
I want for my family to act like a family, rather than a bunch of money hungry barracudas circling my father.
I want for my sister to be here with her awful, runny, Christmas turkey gravy, and my mom with her secret bourbon and inability to remember Proper Nouns. Which is stupid and gross, when you think about it really, but I miss them.
And I want to be a good person, which I so often fail at and to have a peaceful heart without the wounds that so often overflow onto other people.
I want a President who has grace, class, and kindness.
I want to be loved for who I am in every minute of my existence, even when…especially when…I’m crying and bubbling snot or throwing my arms around in a passion of frustration.
I want Payday to live forever and just one more long trail ride with him. In the mountains. In the fall.
I want my kids happy, healthy, and stable. And, hallelujah, they are. Mostly.
I want my Dad’s feet to stop hurting and for his knee to work properly.
I want the kids at the border back with their families, the oil spill in South Dakota gone, the people of the caravan to come to safety and succor, the people of Yemen to be fed, the women in the Middle East to be safe, and for every, single slave in the World to be freed to live a decent, normal life. I want all of the kids who are hurting so badly to have a place to turn for solace and someone to help them get through.
This is going to be a difficult list to reduce to ‘wool socks and a novel’.

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